5 Reasons Why Couples Counseling Might Not Work For You
While Couples Counseling is helpful for many couples, it may now work in some cases.
To begin with, to be successful, Couples Counseling requires openness to new ideas, feelings, and experiences as well as willingness to change behaviors and attitudes.
It also requires a good “chemistry” between a couple and their therapist. There has to be a sense of safety in a therapy session. And of course, the skill and training of a therapist make all the difference.5
In order to improve or save a relationship, there has to be willingness and ability to be open and vulnerable to one’s partner at some point in the process. It is also important to be committed to working things out and stay together.
But besides these aspects, there are other reasons why couples counseling and marriage counseling may not work for some couples.
Here are 5 reasons:
Long History of Emotional Detachment
Some couples enter therapy when the relationship is too far gone. When a couple has major problems for a long time, and there is a long history of resentment and disconnect, one or both partners cannot or are not willing to open their hearts to feeling love and closeness. The defenses are too rigid to allow any vulnerability.
Secret Relationship Affair
Couples Therapy will not work to save a relationship when one of the partners is having a secret emotional and/or sexual relationship with someone else. If this is the case, that partner is mostly out of the relationship already.
Unwillingness To Resolve Disagreements
Couples Counseling will not work if there is a disagreement on a major issue, such as having children, religion, etc. and there is no ability to find a mutually satisfactory way of resolving this.
Therapy will not succeed if one of the partners already decided that they do not want to stay in the relationship and are just going through the motion of “doing everything he/she can.”
Couples counseling will not work if there is dishonesty on any one or more important topics which is not discussed. Good relationships are based on trust and honesty. Without this nothing can work.