In the last decade, more and more people have figured out how to make this transition easier.

It matters to some extent if you have a partner and if the relationship is a viable one. Not having to worry about a child at home can be very liberating and can take you and your partner to a time you had together before you had kids. Do you remember a time in your relationship when you were about to have kids and were worried about losing your freedom? When you were free and could just focus on each other and do whatever you wanted to.  

Even though you had more freedom in years before the kids leave home then when they were young, still there was a lot of energy spent on them. 

Now there is space to just focus on you and your partner and think about doing stuff you did not do for a long time, such as:

• It is time to reconnect with your partner
• Think about new personal and professional goals
• Resist the Urge to Check-In too much with your child
• Reach out to family and friends, especially those who have been through this.
• To the extent that it is possible, plan for this ahead of time. Line up experiences that would be fun.

Things can feel even more lonely and upsetting if you are single. You may feel abandoned, useless and alone. It is important to realize that your kids can no longer be the only meaning in your life.  They will always need you and be very important, but you need to figure out a life for yourself. There simply is no choice about this. 

During this time consider the following:

1. It is a great time to reach out to others who are in your life and extend yourself in ways you did not have to before.
2. It is also an ideal time to do soul searching about what you care about and what interests you have. It may be time to devote to your career.
3. Consider ways you could volunteer your time and energy to help others in need.

The main thing to remember is that your kids cannot be your life when they are adults. Trying for that will be disappointing to you and not fair to them.

The post Tips for Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome first appeared on Irina Firstein, LCSW.

We all know that our goal as parents is to make our children independent, autonomous adults, the experience of letting go can be very painful.

It is hard not to have children in your home who need care and attention. Sometimes, there is a sense of having no purpose in life.

There are also worries about their safety, well being, their ability to actually take care of themselves.

Parents dealing with empty nest syndrome often have a profound sense of loss which can make them vulnerable to depression, alcoholism, identity, and marital crisis. 

There is often a deep void, it is hard to adjust.

These feelings are normal and usually ease with time. In the beginning stages of this, it is critical to reach out to family and friends and talk about these feelings. Some will need professional help as this can trigger old feelings of abandonment and loss.

It is important to see this as a life passage both for you and your children. You need to trust that you are not losing them and will have a relationship going forward albeit somewhat different, but not worse than before. You will still be a parent, always.

Just like childbirth, many people have gone through this and have survived. You will too.

The post What Is Empty Nest Syndrome? first appeared on Irina Firstein, LCSW.