How To Make Positive Changes In Your Life

Therapy is about working hard on changing parts of yourself, things you are not satisfied with or you feel are damaging to your life.

Changing for a better life involves an honest and open examination of what is going on. It is a popular and accepted idea among therapists that we should love and honor all parts of ourselves. I think this is so in as much as all parts of ourselves are there for good reasons.

We should not hate and shame ourselves for our shortcomings. Most of these “parts” are coping skills and parts of our character that came to be as survival strategies in our childhood, dealing with our parents, siblings, peers and teachers. They worked for us at that time.

However, as adults in our current life and relationships we do not need to be locked into these patterns and, in fact, many of them are destructive to our lives, relationships and goals. These parts need to be recognized, accepted and respected, but also as adults, having choices, we need to figure out it this works for us now.

Another aspect of changes is that we often wish we could be a better parent, partner, friend, daughter or son, sister or brother. How would you like to be better? Be specific. Then really become more mindful and systematic about this and DO IT!

And if you can’t or don’t know what and how, may be it is time to consult a trusted and experienced individual therapist who can help understand the origins of these difficulties and help work through the underlying feelings and experiences so life can feel and be better.

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