Is Your Relationship Making You Crazy In Love Or Driving You Crazy?

A reporter recently asked me this question. I had to think about it for a moment as both situations can make you feel off balance, off center and anxious.

I think a major distinction is that being crazy in love is a pleasurable feeling even if somewhat unsettling… Most of us crave this feeling and want to hold on to it as long as possible. It is an emotional high in which the anxiety comes from feeling vulnerable. But it is a state that makes us feel very alive, excited about life, albeit it somewhat scared of loosing the feeling and the person.

When being in love drives us crazy, it is a feeling and a state that is quite untenable and we do not want to remain in that state for a long time as it interferes with other important areas of our life and functioning. It is a state of angst, frustration, anxiety and is extremely uncomfortable. It is a feeling that something is wrong, the relationship is wrong or not good for us. It is an unhappy state.

Sometimes being in love drives us crazy because there is fear of something going wrong, our feelings being unrequited, jealousy and possessiveness can take over. Bur when the feelings of love are mutual and the people involved are reasonably stable, this feeling grows into a mature, fulfilling love. In contrast the craziness evolves into dysfunction and despair, can evolve into depression. This is a kind of a relationship people end up in couples therapy to get help getting out of.